164. What 100 Family Budgets Taught Me: The Truth About Money, Values, and Simplicity

After walking through more than 100 family budgets, I can tell you one thing for sure: nobody’s perfect—but the patterns are powerful. In this episode, I’m sharing the biggest lessons I’ve learned from families of all kinds about what really makes a budget work. From overcoming shame and overwhelm to aligning your money with your values, this is your invitation to build a budget that feels like freedom, not frustration.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• Why perfectionism kills progress (and what to aim for instead)
• The 3 emotional roadblocks every family faces: shame, overwhelm, and confusion
• How to align your budget with your values so it actually works long-term
• Why high income doesn’t fix poor money habits—and what truly does
• The simple systems that help families stay consistent and calm with their money

Want to make generosity part of your legacy?
Join the free Legacy Builders Network on Facebook for our upcoming Give Thanks and Give Back Challenge—7 days of practicing gratitude with your money and giving with purpose.

Learn more about working with Laura Sexton

.        Join the Facebook group Legacy Builders Network.

·        Become a master with your money. Learn more here!

·        Checkout the resource library here!

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Send an email to Laura@AccelerateYourLegacy.com or send a DM on Instagram @accelerateyourlegacy

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Transcript

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Laura 0:00

You wanna know what a hundred plus family budgets all reveal? Spoiler. Nobody's perfect, but the patterns are powerful. hello and welcome to money and career mastery from overwhelmed to ownership. I'm Laura Sexton, your abundance and legacy coach here to help you navigate the world of money, debt payoff, and career growth with confidence and clarity. In this podcast, we'll tackle the financial and career challenges, holding you back, optimize your income and build the freedom that comes with true ownership. If you're ready to break free from overwhelm, create a budget that aligns with your values and design a legacy that empowers future generations. You're in the right place. Hey, accelerators, after walking through over a hundred personalized budgets with many different types of families. I have started to see that the same struggles and breakthroughs come over and over. At first, I thought each person's story was gonna be completely unique, but the truth of the matter is most of us fight the same battles with money. It's all just in different packaging. So if you've ever thought that you're the only one that struggles to stay on track, you're not. Let's talk today about what I've seen. I get in again, and what it's taught me about building a budget that actually works. This is really gonna help you today. So number one, nobody's perfect. That's also not the goal. Everyone is, everybody that comes to me thinks that their mess is absolutely unique, and in some ways they're right. No two stories are exactly alike, but the feelings that I see, they're universal. Shame, overwhelm, confusion. These are the top three pain points. Yes, there's debt. Yes, there's lack of savings, there's disorganization, but shame, overwhelming confusion come in almost every package in some way or another. When we sit down to make a budget, what we're looking for is clarity, and we're looking for choices. Now in the month of September, my husband and I had a no spend month. We decided the entire month, which was funny because I was running a yes spend challenge inside my Facebook group, but it was really difficult because I had to train myself to say. No, because we had a really big goal for October. Something exciting for our family was happening and we needed to make sure that we had the money set aside. So we were saying yes to that big future expense and no for the little things during the month. But when I made the decision that it was a no spend month, it was easier for me to say no. It was easier for my children to hear the word no, and they go, September over yet over and over and over again. I heard this from them, which is really funny. They knew there's a hard and fast rule and it makes it easier. So the budget is about clarity. It's about choice, and it's never about perfection. When people expect perfection, they quit. They quit the first time they overspend. The first time they made a mistake. The first time they got overwhelmed with making of the budget because if it's not perfect, how can I ever follow it? Oh, friends. Perfection is a myth. Nothing's ever perfect. A budget that ignores your values will fail every time. Families who succeed in aligning their money with what matters most, be it debt freedom, travel, giving flexibility, whatever it is. If they can align their money with what matters to them, not what's convenient, not whatever, unless convenience is one of your, success meters, right? But just doing things out of habit, doing things, because it's always been done this way doing things because your parents did this way, that's not gonna help you succeed. You have to align with what matters most to you. What matters most in the grand scheme of things, that's what's going to help you succeed. When your budget doesn't reflect your values, it feels like a punishment instead of pure freedom. I can tell you that one of my favorite things in the month of October is getting to put the Halloween column on our, on our budget. Now, I don't like Halloween. I'm not gonna get into how much I dislike the gory, the scary, the gross. Do not jump scare me. I will punch you in the throat and I'm not gonna mean to, but it's gonna happen. I'm gonna feel really, really bad and so will you. And nobody's gonna like it. So that part of Halloween I dislike. But what I really love, I really love giving out candy to little kids and watching their eyes light up. I love that part of Halloween, and I love that I don't have to make their costumes with whatever I have lying around the house that I have the ability to buy for them, whatever it is they want. When people say they wanna give their kids more than what they had, when I say it, that's one of the things. I mean, I want them to have the best of whatever it is they want. I need them to be hardworking and I need them to have skin in the game. I need them to grow slowly, which is hard to do in our fast-paced world. But when I make my budget, one of the values that I want it to reflect is they get to have these little luxuries in life that may have been more difficult for me to come by if you were copying somebody else's life. It's never gonna look like yours. You're not a computer with a control copy function. You my friend, are your own individual. Your family is its own entity. You're not gonna be able to keep up with the Kardashians. It's just not gonna happen. As long as you are aligned with what matters most to you and your family. You will succeed in creating a life that you love. Speaking of creating a life that you love, your income will not fix your problems. I can't tell you how many times people come to me and they're like, well, I just need to make more money. And yes, a lot of times that is a very easy way to make a change. But high income clients. Still feel broke. If they don't have a plan, you don't necessarily need more income, you need more clarity. Even my six figure earners, they drift if there isn't an intentional destination. More times than not, I see people making $250,000 and they feel sick because they have no idea where their money is going. And they just keep living life bigger and bigger and bigger because it's easy. But if they have no intention, they have no clarity, they have no paradigm to make a decision. They struggle. And the most consistent win that I've ever seen is when every dollar has a job. I love making budgets. I actually have a lot of fun sitting down and looking at the numbers, and I see into people's souls sometimes when I see what they put on their budget, and sometimes after about a month or two, I'm able to look at them and go, is this actually what you want? Is this actually serving you? Because I see where things. Are actually being spent. And this sweet girl that's living up in New York, she was telling me how frugal she is and how intentional she is, and she's so good at spending her money. She was so certain of this, when she told me that, she told me, oh, I only spend $250 on going out to eat. And I was like, really? And she was telling me how intentional she was and how thoughtful she was. I said, okay, I normally, I add money to this part of the budget. If you tell me you only spend $250 on restaurants, I know you spend 500. But she sounded certain. I said, okay, well I'll put that down on the budget and we'll see at the end of the month what it looks like. She said. Okay. $450. She was really certain. But until you were able to give your money an assignment and tell your money where to go, you are always gonna be wondering where it went. Get clarity on what you actually spend, and that will help you make a plan for what you want to spend in the future. I will tell you though, simplicity works best. The families that stay consistent, they keep it simple. They have their starter emergency fund that is going to be their buffer between life and their goals. They have one main account. This is big. If you were married, there's one checking and one savings account. I'm okay with that. Families that stay consistent also have a weekly or biweekly money date where they talk about what they're actually spending. Your tools do not matter nearly as much as your habits. Keep it simple so you can keep up with it. Your budgets, they will evolve with your life. They have to a new baby. Guess what? New category, A job pivot. Guess what? New income you move. Everything's new school tuition. Sometimes that goes up and down based on how many kids you have and like what grade they're in. If your life adjusts, your budget should adapt the best budgets. They're living documents. This is not a stone tablet, this is not the 10 commandments. Those don't change. Your budget is constantly evolving. Now, what I don't want you to do is I don't want you to sit down and go, okay, well I can move some things around this month because I spent way too much in this category. So I'm gonna take some outta here. I'm gonna take some outta there. That's not being intentional, that's being reactionary. Your budget is a living document, but once you decide, sign your name to it. If you need to spit, shake, I don't care. Sign a blood oath. Say to your spouse, this is what we are agreeing to, and we will not go over it. Because if you go over it, then you're lying and then you have an even bigger issue. This week I would like for you to identify the one area of your budget that feels the most stressful. I'm gonna guess it's one of three categories, probably going out to eat your groceries or your debt payments, but choose one area of your budget that feels the most stressful, and then ask yourself, is this aligned with my values or is it not? Then choose one simple tweak this month to bring your budget back into alignment. In aa, they call it terminal uniqueness. It is this idea of I am my own person and no one has ever had the same problem as I have. There's a reason why I have never created a course. For money. It's because every time I work with a client, we start in a different place. But every time I work with a client, we end in the same place. Debt. Freedom, clarity, confidence. That's the legacy I want you to have. That's the legacy I wanna help you build, and that is the legacy. I wanna help you accelerate. Now if you're ready to build a legacy of generosity, I wanna invite you into our free Facebook group. In the month of November, the first full week of November, we are doing a seven day generosity challenge called Give Thanks and Give Back. It is all about practicing gratitude with your money and making generosity part of your everyday legacy. The link is down in the show notes and I would really love to see you there if you are listening to this in the future. Hello, future. It is so fun to time travel with you. Feel free to join us in the Legacy Builders Network where we are going to be doing some other challenge. I really hope that listening to some of the lessons that I have learned from these last 100 families gives you some sort of insight and peace and clarity. That's it for this week. Accelerators go out and make a difference. You wanna know what a hundred plus family budgets all reveal? Spoiler. Nobody's perfect, but the patterns are powerful. Hey, accelerators, after walking through over a hundred personalized budgets with many different types of families. I have started to see that the same struggles and breakthroughs come over and over. At first, I thought each person's story was gonna be completely unique, but the truth of the matter is most of us fight the same battles with money. It's all just in different packaging. So if you've ever thought that you're the only one that struggles to stay on track, you're not. Let's talk today about what I've seen. I get in again, and what it's taught me about building a budget that actually works. This is really gonna help you today. So number one, nobody's perfect. That's also not the goal. Everyone is, everybody that comes to me thinks that their mess is absolutely unique, and in some ways they're right. No two stories are exactly alike, but the feelings that I see, they're universal. Shame, overwhelm, confusion. These are the top three pain points. Yes, there's debt. Yes, there's lack of savings, there's disorganization, but shame, overwhelming confusion come in almost every package in some way or another. When we sit down to make a budget, what we're looking for is clarity, and we're looking for choices. Now in the month of September, my husband and I had a no spend month. We decided the entire month, which was funny because I was running a yes spend challenge inside my Facebook group, but it was really difficult because I had to train myself to say. No, because we had a really big goal for October. Something exciting for our family was happening and we needed to make sure that we had the money set aside. So we were saying yes to that big future expense and no for the little things during the month. But when I made the decision that it was a no spend month, it was easier for me to say no. It was easier for my children to hear the word no, and they go, September over yet over and over and over again. I heard this from them, which is really funny. They knew there's a hard and fast rule and it makes it easier. So the budget is about clarity. It's about choice, and it's never about perfection. When people expect perfection, they quit. They quit the first time they overspend. The first time they made a mistake. The first time they got overwhelmed with making of the budget because if it's not perfect, how can I ever follow it? Oh, friends. Perfection is a myth. Nothing's ever perfect. A budget that ignores your values will fail every time. Families who succeed in aligning their money with what matters most, be it debt freedom, travel, giving flexibility, whatever it is. If they can align their money with what matters to them, not what's convenient, not whatever, unless convenience is one of your, success meters, right? But just doing things out of habit, doing things, because it's always been done this way doing things because your parents did this way, that's not gonna help you succeed. You have to align with what matters most to you. What matters most in the grand scheme of things, that's what's going to help you succeed. When your budget doesn't reflect your values, it feels like a punishment instead of pure freedom. I can tell you that one of my favorite things in the month of October is getting to put the Halloween column on our, on our budget. Now, I don't like Halloween. I'm not gonna get into how much I dislike the gory, the scary, the gross. Do not jump scare me. I will punch you in the throat and I'm not gonna mean to, but it's gonna happen. I'm gonna feel really, really bad and so will you. And nobody's gonna like it. So that part of Halloween I dislike. But what I really love, I really love giving out candy to little kids and watching their eyes light up. I love that part of Halloween, and I love that I don't have to make their costumes with whatever I have lying around the house that I have the ability to buy for them, whatever it is they want. When people say they wanna give their kids more than what they had, when I say it, that's one of the things. I mean, I want them to have the best of whatever it is they want. I need them to be hardworking and I need them to have skin in the game. I need them to grow slowly, which is hard to do in our fast-paced world. But when I make my budget, one of the values that I want it to reflect is they get to have these little luxuries in life that may have been more difficult for me to come by if you were copying somebody else's life. It's never gonna look like yours. You're not a computer with a control copy function. You my friend, are your own individual. Your family is its own entity. You're not gonna be able to keep up with the Kardashians. It's just not gonna happen. As long as you are aligned with what matters most to you and your family. You will succeed in creating a life that you love. Speaking of creating a life that you love, your income will not fix your problems. I can't tell you how many times people come to me and they're like, well, I just need to make more money. And yes, a lot of times that is a very easy way to make a change. But high income clients. Still feel broke. If they don't have a plan, you don't necessarily need more income, you need more clarity. Even my six figure earners, they drift if there isn't an intentional destination. More times than not, I see people making $250,000 and they feel sick because they have no idea where their money is going. And they just keep living life bigger and bigger and bigger because it's easy. But if they have no intention, they have no clarity, they have no paradigm to make a decision. They struggle. And the most consistent win that I've ever seen is when every dollar has a job. I love making budgets. I actually have a lot of fun sitting down and looking at the numbers, and I see into people's souls sometimes when I see what they put on their budget, and sometimes after about a month or two, I'm able to look at them and go, is this actually what you want? Is this actually serving you? Because I see where things. Are actually being spent. And this sweet girl that's living up in New York, she was telling me how frugal she is and how intentional she is, and she's so good at spending her money. She was so certain of this, when she told me that, she told me, oh, I only spend $250 on going out to eat. And I was like, really? And she was telling me how intentional she was and how thoughtful she was. I said, okay, I normally, I add money to this part of the budget. If you tell me you only spend $250 on restaurants, I know you spend 500. But she sounded certain. I said, okay, well I'll put that down on the budget and we'll see at the end of the month what it looks like. She said. Okay. $450. She was really certain. But until you were able to give your money an assignment and tell your money where to go, you are always gonna be wondering where it went. Get clarity on what you actually spend, and that will help you make a plan for what you want to spend in the future. I will tell you though, simplicity works best. The families that stay consistent, they keep it simple. They have their starter emergency fund that is going to be their buffer between life and their goals. They have one main account. This is big. If you were married, there's one checking and one savings account. I'm okay with that. Families that stay consistent also have a weekly or biweekly money date where they talk about what they're actually spending. Your tools do not matter nearly as much as your habits. Keep it simple so you can keep up with it. Your budgets, they will evolve with your life. They have to a new baby. Guess what? New category, A job pivot. Guess what? New income you move. Everything's new school tuition. Sometimes that goes up and down based on how many kids you have and like what grade they're in. If your life adjusts, your budget should adapt the best budgets. They're living documents. This is not a stone tablet, this is not the 10 commandments. Those don't change. Your budget is constantly evolving. Now, what I don't want you to do is I don't want you to sit down and go, okay, well I can move some things around this month because I spent way too much in this category. So I'm gonna take some outta here. I'm gonna take some outta there. That's not being intentional, that's being reactionary. Your budget is a living document, but once you decide, sign your name to it. If you need to spit, shake, I don't care. Sign a blood oath. Say to your spouse, this is what we are agreeing to, and we will not go over it. Because if you go over it, then you're lying and then you have an even bigger issue. This week I would like for you to identify the one area of your budget that feels the most stressful. I'm gonna guess it's one of three categories, probably going out to eat your groceries or your debt payments, but choose one area of your budget that feels the most stressful, and then ask yourself, is this aligned with my values or is it not? Then choose one simple tweak this month to bring your budget back into alignment. In aa, they call it terminal uniqueness. It is this idea of I am my own person and no one has ever had the same problem as I have. There's a reason why I have never created a course. For money. It's because every time I work with a client, we start in a different place. But every time I work with a client, we end in the same place. Debt. Freedom, clarity, confidence. That's the legacy I want you to have. That's the legacy I wanna help you build, and that is the legacy. I wanna help you accelerate. Now if you're ready to build a legacy of generosity, I wanna invite you into our free Facebook group. In the month of November, the first full week of November, we are doing a seven day generosity challenge called Give Thanks and Give Back. It is all about practicing gratitude with your money and making generosity part of your everyday legacy. The link is down in the show notes and I would really love to see you there if you are listening to this in the future. Hello, future. It is so fun to time travel with you. Feel free to join us in the Legacy Builders Network where we are going to be doing some other challenge. I really hope that listening to some of the lessons that I have learned from these last 100 families gives you some sort of insight and peace and clarity. That's it for this week. Accelerators go out and make a difference. You wanna know what a hundred plus family budgets all reveal? Spoiler. Nobody's perfect, but the patterns are powerful. Hey, accelerators, after walking through over a hundred personalized budgets with many different types of families. I have started to see that the same struggles and breakthroughs come over and over. At first, I thought each person's story was gonna be completely unique, but the truth of the matter is most of us fight the same battles with money. It's all just in different packaging. So if you've ever thought that you're the only one that struggles to stay on track, you're not. Let's talk today about what I've seen. I get in again, and what it's taught me about building a budget that actually works. This is really gonna help you today. So number one, nobody's perfect. That's also not the goal. Everyone is, everybody that comes to me thinks that their mess is absolutely unique, and in some ways they're right. No two stories are exactly alike, but the feelings that I see, they're universal. Shame, overwhelm, confusion. These are the top three pain points. Yes, there's debt. Yes, there's lack of savings, there's disorganization, but shame, overwhelming confusion come in almost every package in some way or another. When we sit down to make a budget, what we're looking for is clarity, and we're looking for choices. Now in the month of September, my husband and I had a no spend month. We decided the entire month, which was funny because I was running a yes spend challenge inside my Facebook group, but it was really difficult because I had to train myself to say. No, because we had a really big goal for October. Something exciting for our family was happening and we needed to make sure that we had the money set aside. So we were saying yes to that big future expense and no for the little things during the month. But when I made the decision that it was a no spend month, it was easier for me to say no. It was easier for my children to hear the word no, and they go, September over yet over and over and over again. I heard this from them, which is really funny. They knew there's a hard and fast rule and it makes it easier. So the budget is about clarity. It's about choice, and it's never about perfection. When people expect perfection, they quit. They quit the first time they overspend. The first time they made a mistake. The first time they got overwhelmed with making of the budget because if it's not perfect, how can I ever follow it? Oh, friends. Perfection is a myth. Nothing's ever perfect. A budget that ignores your values will fail every time. Families who succeed in aligning their money with what matters most, be it debt freedom, travel, giving flexibility, whatever it is. If they can align their money with what matters to them, not what's convenient, not whatever, unless convenience is one of your, success meters, right? But just doing things out of habit, doing things, because it's always been done this way doing things because your parents did this way, that's not gonna help you succeed. You have to align with what matters most to you. What matters most in the grand scheme of things, that's what's going to help you succeed. When your budget doesn't reflect your values, it feels like a punishment instead of pure freedom. I can tell you that one of my favorite things in the month of October is getting to put the Halloween column on our, on our budget. Now, I don't like Halloween. I'm not gonna get into how much I dislike the gory, the scary, the gross. Do not jump scare me. I will punch you in the throat and I'm not gonna mean to, but it's gonna happen. I'm gonna feel really, really bad and so will you. And nobody's gonna like it. So that part of Halloween I dislike. But what I really love, I really love giving out candy to little kids and watching their eyes light up. I love that part of Halloween, and I love that I don't have to make their costumes with whatever I have lying around the house that I have the ability to buy for them, whatever it is they want. When people say they wanna give their kids more than what they had, when I say it, that's one of the things. I mean, I want them to have the best of whatever it is they want. I need them to be hardworking and I need them to have skin in the game. I need them to grow slowly, which is hard to do in our fast-paced world. But when I make my budget, one of the values that I want it to reflect is they get to have these little luxuries in life that may have been more difficult for me to come by if you were copying somebody else's life. It's never gonna look like yours. You're not a computer with a control copy function. You my friend, are your own individual. Your family is its own entity. You're not gonna be able to keep up with the Kardashians. It's just not gonna happen. As long as you are aligned with what matters most to you and your family. You will succeed in creating a life that you love. Speaking of creating a life that you love, your income will not fix your problems. I can't tell you how many times people come to me and they're like, well, I just need to make more money. And yes, a lot of times that is a very easy way to make a change. But high income clients. Still feel broke. If they don't have a plan, you don't necessarily need more income, you need more clarity. Even my six figure earners, they drift if there isn't an intentional destination. More times than not, I see people making $250,000 and they feel sick because they have no idea where their money is going. And they just keep living life bigger and bigger and bigger because it's easy. But if they have no intention, they have no clarity, they have no paradigm to make a decision. They struggle. And the most consistent win that I've ever seen is when every dollar has a job. I love making budgets. I actually have a lot of fun sitting down and looking at the numbers, and I see into people's souls sometimes when I see what they put on their budget, and sometimes after about a month or two, I'm able to look at them and go, is this actually what you want? Is this actually serving you? Because I see where things. Are actually being spent. And this sweet girl that's living up in New York, she was telling me how frugal she is and how intentional she is, and she's so good at spending her money. She was so certain of this, when she told me that, she told me, oh, I only spend $250 on going out to eat. And I was like, really? And she was telling me how intentional she was and how thoughtful she was. I said, okay, I normally, I add money to this part of the budget. If you tell me you only spend $250 on restaurants, I know you spend 500. But she sounded certain. I said, okay, well I'll put that down on the budget and we'll see at the end of the month what it looks like. She said. Okay. $450. She was really certain. But until you were able to give your money an assignment and tell your money where to go, you are always gonna be wondering where it went. Get clarity on what you actually spend, and that will help you make a plan for what you want to spend in the future. I will tell you though, simplicity works best. The families that stay consistent, they keep it simple. They have their starter emergency fund that is going to be their buffer between life and their goals. They have one main account. This is big. If you were married, there's one checking and one savings account. I'm okay with that. Families that stay consistent also have a weekly or biweekly money date where they talk about what they're actually spending. Your tools do not matter nearly as much as your habits. Keep it simple so you can keep up with it. Your budgets, they will evolve with your life. They have to a new baby. Guess what? New category, A job pivot. Guess what? New income you move. Everything's new school tuition. Sometimes that goes up and down based on how many kids you have and like what grade they're in. If your life adjusts, your budget should adapt the best budgets. They're living documents. This is not a stone tablet, this is not the 10 commandments. Those don't change. Your budget is constantly evolving. Now, what I don't want you to do is I don't want you to sit down and go, okay, well I can move some things around this month because I spent way too much in this category. So I'm gonna take some outta here. I'm gonna take some outta there. That's not being intentional, that's being reactionary. Your budget is a living document, but once you decide, sign your name to it. If you need to spit, shake, I don't care. Sign a blood oath. Say to your spouse, this is what we are agreeing to, and we will not go over it. Because if you go over it, then you're lying and then you have an even bigger issue. This week I would like for you to identify the one area of your budget that feels the most stressful. I'm gonna guess it's one of three categories, probably going out to eat your groceries or your debt payments, but choose one area of your budget that feels the most stressful, and then ask yourself, is this aligned with my values or is it not? Then choose one simple tweak this month to bring your budget back into alignment. In aa, they call it terminal uniqueness. It is this idea of I am my own person and no one has ever had the same problem as I have. There's a reason why I have never created a course. For money. It's because every time I work with a client, we start in a different place. But every time I work with a client, we end in the same place. Debt. Freedom, clarity, confidence. That's the legacy I want you to have. That's the legacy I wanna help you build, and that is the legacy. I wanna help you accelerate. Now if you're ready to build a legacy of generosity, I wanna invite you into our free Facebook group. In the month of November, the first full week of November, we are doing a seven day generosity challenge called Give Thanks and Give Back. It is all about practicing gratitude with your money and making generosity part of your everyday legacy. The link is down in the show notes and I would really love to see you there if you are listening to this in the future. Hello, future. It is so fun to time travel with you. Feel free to join us in the Legacy Builders Network where we are going to be doing some other challenge. I really hope that listening to some of the lessons that I have learned from these last 100 families gives you some sort of insight and peace and clarity. That's it for this week. Accelerators go out and make a difference. thank you for spending time with us today on Money and Career Mastery from Overwhelm to Ownership. Remember, your legacy isn't just about financial freedom. It's about living with purpose, taking action, and building a foundation that lasts for generations. Don't just listen, implement what you've learned and share it with someone who could use a financial or career breakthrough. If you found value in today's episode, help us grow by rating, reviewing, and sharing the podcast. I'll be back next week with more strategies to help you master your money and career. Until then take ownership of your future and build your legacy with intention.