154. What Your Kids Are Learning From You Right Now

What money habits are your kids picking up from you—whether you mean to teach them or not? From piggy banks to big purchases, your children are playing Follow the Leader with how you handle money. The legacy you’re building isn’t just about what you leave behind one day—it’s about the everyday choices you’re modeling right now.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• Why kids naturally mirror your money behavior—and what that means for their future
• How to shift from “we can’t afford that” to language that teaches strategy, not fear
• Simple ways to invite your kids into real-life planning sessions (like parties or instruments)
• How generosity, delayed gratification, and family values shape your money legacy
• A practical challenge you can try this week to reset your family’s money habits

Want to align your money mindset with the legacy you want to pass on? Join us for the 7-Day Money Mindset Shift Challenge inside the Legacy Builders Facebook community. Sign up through the link in the show notes and start modeling a healthier financial future for your family today.

Learn more about working with Laura Sexton

. Join the Facebook group Legacy Builders Network.

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Send an email to Laura@AccelerateYourLegacy.com or send a DM on Instagram @accelerateyourlegacy

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Transcript

Laura: 0:00

Your kids are learning about money right now, not from what you say, but from what you do. hello and welcome to money and career mastery from overwhelmed to ownership. I'm Laura Sexton, your abundance and legacy coach here to help you navigate the world of money, debt payoff, and career growth with confidence and clarity. In this podcast, we'll tackle the financial and career challenges, holding you back, optimize your income and build the freedom that comes with true ownership. If you're ready to break free from overwhelm, create a budget that aligns with your values and design a legacy that empowers future generations. You're in the right place. Hey, accelerators, thanks for coming back to the Money Career Mastery Podcast. I am very excited to talk to you about this today because if you know anything at all about me, you know that what we pass on to our children, our legacy is so incredibly important to me. It's one of those things that I could talk about over and over again and again all day long. So I wanna talk with you about our kids and how they mirror our money behavior, or you could even call it a money language. Now, sometimes it's great, we can sit down and, and they're. Doing the parts of money that we enjoy, we're seeing them do things that we appreciate. Our kids, when they get money for their birthdays, they immediately go put the money into their piggy banks. And on payday they run and they put their money into their banks. And a lot of times they'll be like, can we count it? Can we count it? Can we count it? And they love to count their money. Now they're not Scrooge McDuck, they're not counting it to hoard it, they're counting it to see what kind of things they can enjoy with their money. One of my daughters is saving up to buy herself a guitar. Now this girl has never played a guitar before. We are not necessarily a musical family, so I'm not exactly sure where she has gotten this idea, but she's going to buy a guitar. She's priced one out. She's also priced out a guitar case because if she has a guitar, she needs a case to carry it around. And so we've talked about what is this gonna look like? What are the implications of owning this musical instrument? Like what are the multiple pieces and facets that go into making a purchase like this? There are other times where I just can't stand the behavior that my children have, where instantaneously, they get their money and they need to spend it. There's just this burning hole in their pocket. They have to spend it, have to spend it, have to spend it, have to spend it, and it gets really frustrating for me. There are moments where they're mirroring our money behavior and I'm really proud of them. And there are moments when they mirror our behavior and it's frustrating, but they're watching us and they're doing exactly what we would want them to do. Your kids are watching you and they're watching all the time. Think of it like playing Follow the leader. Whether you've got toddlers, teens, or grown kids, they're always picking up financial habits even when you're not teaching it to them. So what kind of legacy are your everyday money habits leaving? Is it shaping the story that you want your kids to inherit? If not, we need to make a change right now. And sometimes when our kids are older and we're like, we've broken them and we can never fix them, they're watching you. Change things in your life and they will be paying attention to that. I have one client who was telling me that her grown son came to her this week and was like, mom, can you help me make a budget? She goes, he's seeing me. He's seeing me do it. And she's so proud of herself. Every once in a while, she'll just start crying because she's so joyful about the money changes that we've made in our work together. But this time she came to me crying because her son was watching her and said, I wanna do what mom's doing. And that's just a really great feeling. Now, what's not a really great feeling is when you hear yourself come out of your kids' mouths and you're like, oh, I could've done that one better. Right? You know what I'm talking about? You've all heard your parents come out of your mouth before on accident. Where I was even joking with my kids the other day and I was like, I'll give you something to cry about. I was like, oh, nope. That's not, that's not what I meant. I don't even think my mother ever actually said that to me. I think I just heard that on TV enough times to be like, oh, is that, is that a thing that we say anyway? Your legacy isn't just what you leave. It's what you live. It's not about having it all together, but about being intentional. Your legacy is going to happen on the grocery aisles, in your Amazon cart, your Sunday. Morning chores. Your Saturday spending choices, your daily rhythm is going to be so much bigger than your big dramatic money talks. You can sit down and explain things to your kids and they're not gonna get it, but you know what they will get? They will sit down and say, oh, mom pays the bills on Tuesday. One of my daughters came up to me, he is like, mom, what are you doing? I said, oh, I'm balancing the checkbook, which is not true. I do not actually have a checkbook, but I was reconciling my account and I was like, I'm just, you know, going through the numbers to see what we spent our money on. And it, it's interesting because they're like, we spent that much money. They don't actually know how much money they spent, and they're not really looking at the numbers, but they see how many transactions we've had. We spend money that much. Yeah, what I need to remember in those moments is that money mindset is contagious. The kids are going to absorb my stress, my scarcity, my shame, or they're gonna absorb my peace and my purpose and my patience. I get to decide. I get to decide what I'm going to show them. Now, sometimes that can be feeling stress underneath, but as long as I give a posture of peace, that's what they're gonna come away with. But it's also in the everyday language that we use. So I have been guilty of being like, oh, we can't afford that. But I know that's not true and. Instead of using just an easy answer of we can't afford that. I've shifted what, how I speak to them and I say things like, that's not part of the plan right now. Or We've spent our money in that budget category for this month, maybe next month. Or maybe we can fit that in the budget next month, but we don't have it in the budget this month. Now you may be like, Lord, that's crazy. Why would I say that to my 8-year-old? I say that to my 8-year-old and my 6-year-old and my 4-year-old, and now when one of them wants to buy something, I say, oh, not right now. And they're like, but I want it. The bigger ones will go, well, that's not in the budget right now. They're getting it and it's not a put down, it's not scarcity. It's not. It's not negative. They're just very matter of factly being like, well, we don't have that in the budget right now, so we'll have to come back. I want you to narrate your strategy, okay? Don't narrate your fear. Put your fear away. We can't afford that. That's not true. If your kids are like, we wanna buy this toy in the toy aisle, whatever the toy is, and it's$25, and you go, oh, we can't afford that right now. That's not true. You have$25. You're just choosing to spend it on something else. Now, maybe you're choosing to spend it on debt payments because you're trying to get yourself out of debt and you're trying to pay for past mistakes or past decisions that you've made. But a lot of times we would just rather spend that on Netflix. We'd rather spend that on going out to eat, and we don't necessarily wanna buy another toy. It's okay to narrate what your strategy is, we don't wanna keep it under wraps. We wanna say things out loud to our children. No, we don't wanna scare them. We don't wanna be like, oh, well we're not gonna have money to buy food if we buy that. Like that's, that's not our intention. But we do want to give them clear, concise, purposeful strategy that we are doing with our money. And the reason is because they are picking up everything we are putting out. I think it's very important to talk through your decisions with your children. When I wanted to take horseback lessons as a child, my mom would say to me, welcome, sit down with me while we make a budget, and if you can find the room in the budget, you can go. I would've very easily given up electricity or water because I didn't have. The emotional readiness to actually look through that, but I can talk through my decisions with my kids. So my daughter came to me and said, I really want to play the violin and school will teach us, but I have to rent a violin. Now, thankfully the violin is one of the cheaper options of all of the instruments on the page, but boy is it gonna be one of the loudest and most difficult because if you hit it, just the slightest bit wrong, that is scratchy and instead of musical, a violin is very difficult to play and I know that. So my husband and I have to decide how we're going to have. The conversation with her about whether or not we're going to do this. Now we can say, sure, you can do it, but you're gonna have to give up and we'll have to give her some options of things that she'll have to give up in order for us to pay for this monthly rental and monthly lessons for the violin. I'm not buying a violin for a child that may or may not decide to play it in the future. But I like to invite them in, and so I want to encourage you to do the same, invite them into a mini planning session. Things like budgeting for a birthday party. That's a great way to get them in, get them started. I, as a Girl Scout was in charge of planning out, parties. The end of the year party or our big trips that we would go on. We would have to sit down and budget them. How much is it gonna cost for gas? How much is it gonna cost for a hotel stay? These are things that we can have our children do where it's not every day is this, but it is a way to get them involved and it's super fun to see them light up and get excited. Things like that where we can together decide how much are we gonna give away, how much are we gonna save this month? How much are you planning on spending, like having these activities together so you're not just having them figure it out on their own. But I also think it's important to let them see you delay your own gratification. Let them see you say not right now for you, not just for them. Let them witness you practicing generosity in real time. I love taking cash to restaurants and then letting my kids tip the waitress or the waiter. This is one of those moments where they get to hold on in real time to what money can actually do. Legacy doesn't mean we never spend our money, legacy does mean that we spend it where it matters. Generosity is a place where it matters, and I want them to be a part of it. I'd like to see modeling, yes to giving. I want them to see me saying yes to investing. I want them to see me saying yes to family experiences, and I also want them to see me saying yes to rest. Ooh, I got a nap today. I'm feeling really good. Let them see what matters most based on how you actually use your money. Okay. Don't let them see money as something that you just fritter away, but something that is an important tool for them to use in their future. So this week, watch for one moment where your child echoes your money behavior. I bet you'll see it. Go ahead and narrate one money choice out loud, even something small, and write down three money values that you want to pass on. And then ask yourself, am I modeling these right now? Again, your children are playing Follow the leader. What do you want them to follow? You get to decide that. You get to decide with intention, how you want your children to behave with money. They're picking it up from you, mom and dad. They're picking it up from you. If you're ready to reset your mindset and model something new, come over to the Facebook group and join us. We are going to in the month of October, have a seven day money mindset shift challenge, and it's all about aligning how you think about money with the legacy that you wanna build. The link is going to be down in the show notes. I will see you inside of the Legacy Builders community. Thank you so much for listening today, accelerators. Be sure to go out and make a difference. thank you for spending time with us today on Money and Career Mastery from Overwhelm to Ownership. Remember, your legacy isn't just about financial freedom. It's about living with purpose, taking action, and building a foundation that lasts for generations. Don't just listen, implement what you've learned and share it with someone who could use a financial or career breakthrough. If you found value in today's episode, help us grow by rating, reviewing, and sharing the podcast. I'll be back next week with more strategies to help you master your money and career. Until then take ownership of your future and build your legacy with intention.