88. Balancing Grace and Guilt: Financial Introspection

In this episode, host Laura Sexton discusses the difference between being "careless" and "carefree" with money, sharing a personal reflection on her recent spending habits. She explains how she and her husband have been more relaxed with their spending but have stayed within budget. This introspective journey has led her to feel more abundant and less guilty about spending money, especially on herself. She emphasizes the importance of self-reflection, grace, and finding balance in financial decisions.

In this episode we’ll discuss:

.Careless vs Carefree spending

.Grave Vs. Guilt

.Financial Introspection

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Transcript

Laura: 0:46

Hello and welcome to the Accelerate Your Legacy podcast. I'm Laura Sexton, your trusted financial coach and money mindset specialist. Join me as we explore the world of money and money mindset while also paving the way for a lasting legacy that extends far beyond money. Together we'll eliminate stress, amplify freedom, and ensure you stop paying for your past so you can start saving for your future. If you're seeking peace in your finances, more margin in your budget, and a legacy that inspires generations to come, you're in the right place. Hey, accelerators. I'm so excited to be chatting with you today. Just so you guys know, a lot of you responded when I asked if you had any ideas about things you would like to hear on the podcast. I had a lot of you respond with some really great ideas. Some of you were asking for guests. Some of you were asking about very specific things. Some of you were like, I need help with the groceries because inflation is killing me and I completely get that. So I'm going to be. Addressing each of those topics specifically, also, if you would like to come on this podcast and ask a question, or if you would like some free coaching, jump on my email bar at accelerate your legacy. com and let's make that happen. Starting next week, you're going to hear your suggested content live here on the show. But for this week, I wanted to talk about a concept that I have been wrestling with and it's the difference between being careless and being carefree. It was brought to my attention that recently, my husband and I have been a bit more frivolous in our spending than we have been in the past. Now, we still have a goal to buy a house. Unfortunately, we do not think that it's going to be happening here in California. We have some opportunities opening up for us in some different states. So we're like, are we moving? Are we staying? What are we doing? We don't really know. So it's easy when we're in those moments of indecision, of in between to get a little careless. With our spending, my husband and I are both spenders. I'm definitely more of a saver than he is. He's more of a spender than I am, but we both kind of fall on the spending side of things, which can be a problem if you're not paying attention. We have, spending money categories. We have miscellaneous categories. We have kids categories. We have categories for the things that we need to spend money on and we have permission to spend our money on those things because we have set it aside and been very intentional about it. However, I normally don't spend all of my spending money. I'll move it over. It kind of follows me around then when I have a larger amount, I'm able to do things like go get my nails done, or go get a massage, things like that. And Lately, there's been nothing left to move over because I've been like, I'm tired. I just want to go grab some Chick fil A. I'm tired. Well, I'm tired has been a repeated concept in my house. I've been sick and I have been tired and I have been sick and tired of being sick and tired. But this is the season that I'm in, so it's fine. But I was having a conversation with my money coach about how I feel like I've just been really careless with my money lately. And she asked me the question, have you been careless or have you been carefree? This allowed a giant light bulb to go off in my head. I haven't been reckless. I haven't been careless, but I have been very carefree with my money, which is great. This is a new place because normally when I spend money, I'm stressed about it, even though I have permission to spend this money. If I'm spending it on me, I feel bad about it. Which is weird. If I spend it on my kids, I don't feel bad about it at all. I spend it on my husband, I don't feel bad about it at all. I spend it on the family, I don't feel bad about it at all. But when I spend it on me, I feel bad about it. But the last couple of months I've spent money and I haven't felt bad about it. So in my brain, I'm like, Oh, I'm being careless. But that's not the case. I haven't gone over budget once. I haven't spent beyond what I have permission to spend. So what I've been is completely care free about spending my money. And this feels so unnatural to me. This is a new abundance that I'm living in. And I want this for you as well. And part of that comes from giving myself permission saying I have permission to spend up to this dollar amount. It doesn't matter what it is up to this dollar amount. I can do what feels good. And I have been, and I have been very carefree. I've been very abundant in my choices and it feels really good. And trust me, I have, I've been at that place where I'm like, I'm gonna buy myself something to eat tonight. I'm gonna feel really bad about it all while I'm eating it. I'm going to have indigestion tonight while I'm sleeping. I'm probably still going to be sick over it tomorrow, but tonight, right now for this hour, I'm going to feel good. And it's funny because I was at a place where I would beat myself up for days. We're spending money and feeling good within an hour. How do you know, though, if you're being careless or carefree? One of the things that I've been thinking about, you know, because I have been sick and tired, you guys know that I am pregnant. I am now 13 weeks pregnant and I have been living in this first trimester of just tired and nauseous. And I have been allowing myself permission to say no to things. Some things need to happen. Like one of my children has gone up a size in clothing and I need to get rid of the stuff that's too small. And I need to put out. Make available things that are within her size. And so I've got kind of a mess going on trying to do both and there has been a lot of grace That I've had to give myself and say, you know, I just don't have the energy to reach that right now I really wish that I did but unfortunately I don't so I'm going to do what I can do and I'm gonna be okay with What I cannot do. Problem there of course comes when I've given myself too much grace, and then I start to feel guilty about it. Now, I'm trying to find places where I can head that off, right? I want to know where I feel, where grace ends and guilt begins, because I don't want to feel that way about myself, right? Like I want to be, all of this is a blessing and I want to be enjoying the blessing. I don't want to be stuck in the cycle of ick. So what I'm learning is when I Start making excuses... instead of giving myself grace, I'm making an excuse. That's when the guilt is going to come in. That's where the line is. If I'm having to make an excuse to not do something, it's a bridge too far and I need to come back. That comes down to this idea of what do I allow and what do I indulge in? Those are very different things. I, I allow myself permission to spend, like I said, permission to spend my money. I'm allowed to spend up to this dollar amount. That is what we have agreed upon. That is what we want for our family. That is what fits for our family. That is allowed. But when I'm indulging, that's when you find yourself going over budget categories. Oftentimes, for us especially, if we're indulging, it's in food. We are going out to eat more. We are using more drive thrus. We are, it's been a hundred, the other day it was 110 degrees out here. It's hot. Kids can't go outside. We can't go to the park. Well, what can you do? Well, we can go to indoor playgrounds. Well, indoor playgrounds, one, they're all crowded and two, they're very expensive. So we're like, oh, well, we're not going to do that. Let's go. And then we come up with some crazy idea of something we can spend money on. We're indulging ourselves and our need in that moment. Our electric bill is going to be ridiculous next month. But that's, that's That's allowed because it's been 110 degrees. We have to have the air conditioner running. The important thing here is that I have been introspective enough. And if you don't know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself. That's 1 of my favorite jokes. So I've been very introspective. I can look at myself and say, okay, I'm. I'm giving myself excuses now. I'm overindulging now. I can see that in myself. And it's something that I've had to work very hard on coaching myself through. What is the circumstance? What am I feeling about that? And what action am I taking because of my feelings and then what do I want to change? So I've been able to look at that and say, Hey, I don't want to be indulgent, but I would like to allow things up to a certain point. I don't want to be guilty. I don't want to give myself excuses, but I do want to give myself grace. And I don't want to be careless. I don't want to be reckless. Nobody wants that. But I love that I have been able to be carefree recently, especially with my money. This is a new journey for me, and I'm very excited about it. And I would love to help you get to a place where you're like that too. Where you're able to, you know, indulge in the good. But not over indulge and so I would love to go ahead and offer up if you guys are wrestling with any of these concepts. If you're like, I don't know how to be introspective all by myself. Let's jump on a call. Let's take 20 minutes to see how I can help you move forward. And I would love to do that with you. Just a quick reminder, starting next week, you're going to hear some of your content that you have been asking for. That is all going to start coming out next week. We will start having guests and I would love to do a podcast based on what you would like to hear. So if there's something that's been pressing on your mind, if there's something that you're just like, I'm not really sure about this, I've heard one person say one thing and I've heard another person say another. And I just really want to hear what Laura has to say about this. Shoot me an email, Laura at accelerate your legacy. com. Or I'm over on Instagram at accelerate your legacy. All right, accelerators. I will talk to you again next week. Go out and make a difference. Thank you for investing your time with us today on the Accelerate Your Legacy podcast. Remember, your legacy isn't just measured in dollars and cents, but in the tools, habits, mindset, and reputation you leave behind. Don't just listen to the show, but take action on what you've learned. Share this wisdom with a friend who can benefit and help us spread the word by rating and reviewing the podcast. For questions or encouragement, reach out to me on Instagram at Accelerate Your Legacy or explore the resources listed in the show notes. I will be back with you next week. Until then, build your legacy with intention.