Accelerate Your Legacy
Accelerate Your Legacy
73. Identity and Integrity: Keys to a Rich Life
In this episode, the host, Laura Sexton, deviates from the planned discussion on summer money-saving tips to share insights gained from a profound conversation with a new client. Reflecting on the Chicken Soup for the Soul books, the conversation explores the importance of integrity, aligning actions with identity, and living a life in harmony with core values.
In this episode we’ll discuss:
. Aligning Actions with Identity
. Reducing conflict by Living in Alignment
. Making Identity Shifts
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Hello and welcome to the Accelerate Your Legacy podcast. I'm Laura Sexton, your trusted financial coach and money mindset specialist. Join me as we explore the world of money and money mindset while also paving the way for a lasting legacy that extends far beyond money. Together we'll eliminate stress, amplify freedom, and ensure you stop paying for your past so you can start saving for your future. If you're seeking peace in your finances, more margin in your budget, and a legacy that inspires generations to come, you're in the right place. Hey, accelerators, I'm going to switch things up this week. We were supposed to be talking all about ways to save money over the summer. And I have this cool freebie that I'm going to give you, but that is going to have to move to next week because I, I had a great conversation and I wanted to share a little bit. Of the insight that I gained from this conversation on the conversation was with a new client of mine. He and I are really digging in to figure out where his stumbling blocks are and how we can help him. Move forward confidently and what it is that he wants to be doing in his life. And so I want to share with you a little insight that I had my did some deep diving, some digging into, one of the pieces of the conversation that we had today. And it was funny because the memory that came up to me was sitting in the back of my mother's van and reading the chicken soup for the teenage soul. Did you guys read those books growing up? Do you guys know what I'm talking about? The Chicken Soup for the Soul, the books that were all about, you know, it was just good, comfortable reading, kind of a reader's digest length stories inside these books. And they were all stories that had a happy, motivational ending. Everything about them, I mean, some of the stories were tear jerkers and they would, I would be sobbing at the end, but it was all different ways to build you up to lift you up to motivate you towards the person that you want to be. It's interesting to me because we don't have a lot of those books anymore. We have a whole lot of self help books that are coming out. You know, these are ways to improve yourself. And I think one of the things that I liked about the Chicken Soup for the Soul series was that yes, there are ways to improve yourself, but it was all about becoming a better person, not just improving one aspect of your life, but becoming an overall better person. And you see the conversation I had with This client of mine was all about integrity. We were talking about core values. We were talking about how to make your identity. The thing that you were going after. He's working with 1 of his clients right now on the book, atomic habits I obviously love the book. I did a full review on it. Atomic Habits by James Clear is episode 62 you can definitely scroll back to that, but 1 of James clears big things is to set your identity and then your actions will come and align to that. Your habits are a reflection of your identity. So if we're going to change the habits in your life, we're going to change the way that you handle things. We have to change who you are at the core, and then align our actions towards that identity. Going back to that chicken soup of the soul, I think about Jack Canfield, who wrote, I wonder if the fact that his last name is Canfield had anything to do with his obsession with chicken soup, or if it was only because chicken soup is just so balming. Anyway, Jack Canfield had a quote and it says, if you can tune into your purpose and really align with it, setting your goals so that your vision is an expression of that purpose, then life flows much more easily. Think about it. You look at what your purpose is, and, you know, what your final destination is, you know, what you're aiming for, you know, where you want to end up. You can set your goals towards that vision and then everything just flows in that 1 direction. Let's look at ants right if there's a steady stream of ants, they're going from their hill to the picnic. They know what they're going for. They know what they're doing, but 1 single leaf falls in their path and all of a sudden, all of their activity is halted. Now, all of a sudden, instead of going the 3 steps over or under said leaf, they now have to figure out how to go around and then get back onto the path. It stalls their progress. It adds an extra layer of difficulty for them. They can do it. It can happen, but it's going to take extra steps. It's going to take extra walking. There's going to be more that has to happen in order for them to get back on the path. And it's not as smooth as it once was. The moral of the ant story here is that when we know what we're going after, we're able to realign ourselves towards our purpose. So we can set our goals so that our vision is an expression of that purpose. And I think that's really important too. If you can tune into your purpose and really align with it, setting goals so that your vision is an expression of that purpose, then life flows so much more easily. You see, not only have we set our goals, but we're keeping our eye on that goal and we're laser focused in, and we have the vision of what that is. It allows us to more easily make choices. It allows us easily move towards that thing because we know what we're going after. You see, I know that if I'm going to live a debt free life, that is my goal. That is my vision. Your HELOC or your credit card or your travel points aren't going to tempt me because that is out of alignment with who I am. That is out of alignment with my identity as a debt free person and I think it makes it so much easier to be fully committed to this because it's our identity. I don't have to ask if, you know, people who are alcoholics and have been dry for any long period of time. I have a friend who has been 17 years sober. If you ask them if they want to drink, they say, no, I am a recovering alcoholic. That is who they are. That is their identity. They have the identity of a person that does not drink. They do not have to ask the question. Am I going to drink that tonight? Already know who they are. They also know what their challenges are. And they know where they are tempted. So if you are asking them if they want to drink, they probably aren't going to spend time with you anymore. If you're going to ask me if I would like a credit card, I'm probably not going to want to spend a whole lot of time with you. That's why I do self checkout at Target. I don't want you to ask me if I want a credit card. I do not. When I was thinking about a chicken soup for the soul, and I came across that quote from Jack Canfield. I also came across a quote from a man named Steve Maraboli. Now, I don't know Steve, but I really liked this quote. Steve is an author and speaker who focuses on the behavioral science of business and social insight. Steve's quote was this. A lot of the conflict you have in your life exists simply because you're not living in alignment. You're not being true to yourself. That one really hit it for me. Oh, man, that feels so good. I don't have a conflict when somebody asks me if I want a credit card, I just say no because that's not who I am. There's no conflict there for me because I am aligned with my identity in this aspect. So my question to you, listening to Steve's quote here, a lot of the conflicts you have in your life exist simply because you're not living in alignment. You're not being true to yourself. Where do you see that in yourself? You accelerator. You right now, that's listening to this conversation that I'm having with you, I'm in your ears and I'm asking you, where are you in conflict? Because you're not in alignment with yourself, I think identifying that 1 thing is the 1st step of real change for you. Identifying what that 1 marker is and deciding that's where I need to change. That's that 1 piece. That's the 1 thing that I need to do. How can you be 1 percent better in that area next month? Going back to James Clear and his habits. How can we be 1 percent better? I want you to live an easy life. I want you to live a life without conflict. And the way that we do that is by being in alignment with ourself. Susie Orman is another financial influencer. We don't agree on everything, but I agree with her in this. She said, in order to live a rich life, everything about who you are must be one in alignment and in pure harmony. I don't know about you, but this idea of being in alignment and being pure and being in integrity with yourself, I want you to live a rich life. I want you to live a full and abundant life. So does Susie. So does Dave Ramsey. So does Rameet Sethi. We're all looking to help you live full and abundantly. And if your financial decisions are out of alignment with who you are, they aren't the right ones. Sometimes we say, I think that my family is the most important thing. And then you look at your calendar and you look at your checkbook and you realize you're not spending a whole lot of time or money on your family. But your family, you say your family is the most important thing, but you spend a whole lot of extra time at work and your money goes towards eating out instead of saving for your kid's college. Your money is going towards a car payment or a debt payment instead of saving for a trip that you can take your family on, spend time with your family. If you're not sure whether or not you are in alignment with your core values, you're not in integrity with who you say you want to be, who you say you are, there are 2 places to look. Where your treasure is. That is where your heart will be. Your treasure: your time and your money. Look at your calendar, where are you spending your time and look at your checkbook? Where are you spending your money? You probably don't have a checkbook anymore. Most people don't so go look at your bank statements Where are you spending your money? Because that will tell you what's most important to you that will tell you Whether or not you're an integrity, but the thing that you say is a core value of yours. You don't have core values. You need to scroll back through my Podcast here. I have an entire episode on core values Crafting a Rich Life with Core Values is episode 55. Just scroll on back. It won't take you that long. They are going to help you decide where your core values are, how you can set habits in place to put yourself back in alignment with those core values. My friend, I want you to commit 100 percent to being who you want to be when, you know, what your core values are, you know, who you are, how you identify what your identity is, and You can commit 100 percent to that. I don't want you to waffle and be like, some days I do this and some days I do that. Like I am on my diet right now. I'll be completely honest. I need to work on a core value and identity on that so that I can stick with it. It's been hard. I have been chips and salsa pretty much my whole life having a bad day. Chips and salsa. I can't get to the Mexican restaurant. Have chips and salsa at home. Don't have any chips and salsa. You go with the popcorn. Y'all, I am a salty girl. Cookies and chocolate. That's not going to do it for me, but I will intake. Salty crap food because that's been comforting to me and I need to make a change in my life because I want to be a healthier person. So instead of saying I want to be healthier, my new identity is I am a person that eats healthy food, I eat healthy food. When I'm a person that wakes up with my alarm, I wake up with my alarm. This is what I'm telling myself over and over and over again. Because to be completely honest, that's not my identity yet. That's who I aspire to be. But I'm able to set that goal. I see what my purpose is. Being a healthy mom that's around for my kids, being a happy mom who has had time in my Bible study and quiet time with myself to set myself up for the day because I woke up with my alarm. I see the goal. I see my purpose and now I can set my goal so that my vision is an expression of that purpose of that happy mom of that healthy mom, and then life will flow easily to it. I don't need to make the decision every morning of whether or not I wake up with my alarm because I always wake up with my alarm. I am a person that wakes up with my alarm. I don't have to make the decision every day, whether or not I will get a credit card that decision has been made. That is part of my identity. I don't do debt. And if I ever go into debt for anything other than my mortgage that decision is not something I have to make daily. Because it is a part of who I am and this reduces my inner conflict. There is no conflict with, well, I could say 10 percent and I'd feel so good in this moment, but I would feel horrible later. I'm reducing my inner conflict by setting my identity, making my A life choice and going with that, I do not need going back to my analogy. I do not need leaps to fall in my path and totally disrupt me right now as far as food, working out, waking up at the alarm. I'm working on that and I have a conflict. There is inner conflict. There are leaves falling in my path when I have 4 children, and at least 2 of them wake up every night. It's hard. And I'm tired, but I wake up with my alarm. So, friends, I don't know if any of these quotes spoke to you today. I don't know if any of this resonated with you today, but I really hope it did. And I really hope that this inspired you to make an identity shift, to make a change based on who you want to be in life, because I think that's really important. I hope that you come back next week where I share all of my secrets to not only saving you, Money this summer, but maybe making a little money this summer, making your financial goals happen in a smart way that your kids are engaged and you're engaged and everyone is getting to have a smile on their face this summer without. Wasting money without overspending making memories. In a smart financial way, come back next week accelerators, but until then go out and make a difference. Thank you for investing your time with us today on the Accelerate Your Legacy podcast. Remember, your legacy isn't just measured in dollars and cents, but in the tools, habits, mindset, and reputation you leave behind. Don't just listen to the show, but take action on what you've learned. Share this wisdom with a friend who can benefit and help us spread the word by rating and reviewing the podcast. For questions or encouragement, reach out to me on Instagram at Accelerate Your Legacy or explore the resources listed in the show notes. I will be back with you next week. Until then, build your legacy with intention.