Accelerate Your Legacy
Accelerate Your Legacy
59. How Your First Memories Shape Your Future
In this episode, host Laura Sexton explores the significance of first memories, particularly those related to early experiences with family and money. The host shares a personal memory of sitting with her dad on a back porch, reflecting on its impact on her values and identity. The focus then shifts to the audience, prompting them to recall their first memories, especially with money, and analyze how these memories shape core values, coping mechanisms, self-esteem, and self-image.
The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to share their own first memories, fostering a sense of community and dialogue around these formative experiences.
In this episode we’ll learn:
. The power of first memories on core values
. Impact of early money memories
. Self-esteem, coping mechanisms, and future development.
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Hello and welcome to the Accelerate Your Legacy podcast. I'm Laura Sexton, your trusted financial coach and money mindset specialist. Join me as we explore the world of money and money mindset while also paving the way for a lasting legacy that extends far beyond money. Together we'll eliminate stress, amplify freedom, and ensure you stop paying for your past so you can start saving for your future. If you're seeking peace in your finances, more margin in your budget, and a legacy that inspires generations to come, you're in the right place. Hey, Accelerators! Keeping with the theme of stories from last week, when we talked about how you can share life lessons through stories, I was curious if you can picture your first memory. I want to give you just a second to think back. What is the first thing you can remember. I think one of the first things that I really remember is sitting on the back porch with my dad, looking at our little vegetable garden, and eating canned peaches. This is a very weird, reminiscent, Thought I don't even know if we had a back porch because that house burned down before I can really remember. I don't actually know what that looked like. I've never gotten to go back as an adult because the 1 time I've gone back there, it was burned down and the only thing left standing was some shower tiles and the toilet, which is weird, but true. And now it's just completely overgrown with very tall tree high weeds. So I don't know. I haven't even, I haven't talked to my dad about this. Maybe I'll call him and ask him after I record this, but. I don't know if we had a back porch. I do know that we had a garden. I do remember the scarecrow very vividly. I was probably 2 years old to 3 years old in this memory. And I remember sitting on his lap and eating canned peaches, which is the thing we did all the time. And just looking at this garden that we were growing. It's weird because this memory has a lot to do with how I've grown up. I have always felt very connected to my father. I've always felt like I can go out and make more of something. I've always felt like resources were plentiful, and if I didn't have something, I didn't have the name brand thing, I could always find another one. I could always go out and get more. I could always grow something in my garden. There was always something that I could do. I was very resourceful. The having something that's a knockoff of sorts, it wasn't a fresh peach, but it was a canned peach. I also really like canned peaches. One of my children, that was all I craved was peaches, regular peaches, canned peaches, didn't really care. That was a hardcore craving of mine when I was pregnant with her. It's funny how these first Memories the 1st thing, so you can remember the things that you hold on to years and years and years later, those memories have a lot to do with your personality and they have a lot to do with your core values. Like, we talked about a few weeks ago, a lot to do with attachment and coping and self esteem. That's what we're going to talk about today. So I've asked you to picture your 1st memories and I've shared. One of mine with you. Now I want you to picture your first memory with money. What is the first thing you can remember about money? One of my memories with money is rolling change with my dad. One that sticks out is the first time I remember handling my own money, kind of. Is my first Credit card. I had access to our Exxon mobile card, but I didn't have a card. It was a key fob and I've told this story on the podcast before, but I didn't even have to get out money to pay for gasoline. I just scan this little key fob in front of the sensor at Exxon and I drove off. I didn't know I had to pay for it. I didn't know how much it cost granted at the time. I believe to fill up a tank of gas cost me 20 whole dollars. So, as you look back at your 1st memory with money. Let's talk about what that says a few weeks ago, we talked about core values. And 1 of the things that shapes a core value. Is this 1st memory. It's crazy, right? How we can tie things back to these 1st memories of money. So I had this idea of money. 1, you look back at my 1st, 1st memory that it was an abundant resource. I could always go out and get more. But my first money memory was that it wasn't even real. My first money memory was I didn't understand it. So think about it. What does your first memory of money, how does that shape your core values? How does that shape how you handle money day to day? It's interesting. You see these first memories of ours, be it our first memories or our first memories with money, they determine what our attachment style is. Do we feel secure or insecure? I feel very secure when it comes to my parents and being a parent, because I have this memory of this closeness and this togetherness and this resourcefulness, but I feel very insecure when it comes to money, because my memories of money were that it wasn't real, but that there was always more. So, it's, it's very, it's very interesting. It's very challenging to maintain a connection with the realities of my money, because I could very easily just fly off into the monopoly money land. Which I did for a while, if you know, if you know my story, if you haven't heard it yet, my husband and I woke up one day and realized, realized, didn't discover, like, just whoa, what? Excuse me, we are what? We were 372, 347 in non mortgage debt. So you can imagine that my challenge of maintaining a connection with the reality of money is hard. Your first memory is also going to determine your normal coping mechanisms. Are you resilient? Are you able to work through things, or is there a challenge in that coping mechanism? Do you rely on other things other than yourself? Oftentimes spending is a coping mechanism because you're trying to fill a hole. Smoking, drinking, drugs. These are all coping mechanisms. Benching TV, benching food. All of these are coping mechanisms and they are things that we do to make ourselves feel better. So, if we have healthy coping mechanisms and we are resilient and we can get through the hard times or the uncomfortable times, that's great. And for me, I lean on other people. Sometimes to my detriment, sometimes I, I lean on them too much. Right. But my coping mechanism is usually to run to a person or run to prayer, because that is that is comfortable for me, but when it comes to money. Sometimes my coping mechanism is to hide it under the rug and not pay attention. Hide it under the rug because it's not real anyway, so it doesn't really matter. There's always going to be more, so it doesn't really matter. That's a coping mechanism that I have that I'm working on. Every day I'm going to be working on this for the rest of my life because for me, that core memory, that core first memory of money Was that it wasn't really real. So think into into your 1st memory of money. How does this affect the way that you cope with things? How does this affect the way that you handle your money today? The other thing that you get from your 1st memory is. Your self esteem and your self image so you can have a healthy self esteem, healthy self image. I was always loved the very 1st thing that I remember. I felt very loved and cared for. I felt very worthy from the very beginning. I, you know, there were those teen years where I felt ugly and unworthy and all of those things. Like, I definitely went through that. But once I got to the other side of crazy hormone and adolescence, I still feel very worthy and very loved. And I'm very thankful for that. But my self esteem and my self image with money. Go back to that first one where it wasn't real. There's a lot of self doubt and insecurity. So you can be in this really healthy self esteem or you can have a lot of self doubt and insecurity. It is a spectrum. You can be somewhere in between. But I think this is one of those things that we really have to look into. What are your first memories of money and how does that show you your self esteem with money? How does that show you your self image? How does this affect how you handle your money today? And how does this affect the way that you want to treat your children moving forward? Now, if we've gone through any of these things and you're feeling secure, resilient and healthy, great. Wonderful. How can we continue that? But if if we've gone through these things, and there's a lot of insecurity challenge and self doubt. We have to work on this. This is when, when therapy self reflection and other positive life experiences can contribute to your personal development and also the shaping of a positive future. So, even if those early memories were challenging, you have the ability to change. You have the ability to change your core values, change your attachment style, change your coping mechanisms, change how you see yourself. There's possibility for change always. But we have to remember the past, and then we have to decide what we want our future to be. I've been doing a lot of work on this idea of integrity. I want to be an integrity. I want to be a whole integer, but I want to be whole with my future self and who I want to be. I don't want to be whole with my past self and my broken self. I don't want to be whole with that. I want to let go of all that stuff in the past. I want to let go of the negative side of those first memories. And I want to cling to the idea, the image of who I want to become. I can imagine, that's my word of the year, I can imagine who I'm going to be and then work to be in integrity with that future self. And if I am doing that, if I'm growing, if I'm developing into this future idealistic self. Then my core values have to change. My attachment has to change. I have to be attached to that future self, not to my past self. My coping mechanisms have to change. My self esteem, my self image has to change. And as my identity shifts, then my actions and my goals and everything else will follow. My habits will be result of the new image I have set before myself. I would love it if I wasn't the only one sharing my first memory here. Can any of you reach out to me and share with me a first memory? That you've had either your 1st memory ever that you have in your mind or your 1st memory ever with money. I want to know what it is. I want to dissect it with you. If that sounds like something you'd be interested in, let's have a, let's have a chat. Let's have a dialogue. Instagram at accelerate your legacy. com. You can send me an email, Laura at accelerate your legacy. com. Also, if you wouldn't mind, please leave a review to this podcast. If there's anything here that is helping you grow and develop. I would love to hear about it and I would love for other people to hear about it as well. And the review really helps the algorithm. So please take a few seconds, leave a five star review. And then if you have a few more seconds that you can just a word or two of encouragement in that written review, and that's really going to help it get out to more people so we can change more lives and accelerate more legacies. All right, friends, that's it for this week. Go out and make a difference. Thank you for investing your time with us today on the Accelerate Your Legacy podcast. Remember, your legacy isn't just measured in dollars and cents, but in the tools, habits, mindset, and reputation you leave behind. Don't just listen to the show, but take action on what you've learned. Share this wisdom with a friend who can benefit and help us spread the word by rating and reviewing the podcast. For questions or encouragement, reach out to me on Instagram at Accelerate Your Legacy or explore the resources listed in the show notes. I will be back with you next week. Until then, build your legacy with intention.